


The Beguiling Case of the Glass Child

by siriussass



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A little, Am i drunk?, F/M, Friends to Lovers, I want you to cry, James Potter Being an Asshole, M/M, Marauders, Slow Burn, Some bad language, amaright?, as in i havent written bad stuff yet, as in im english and no word is off the cards, be in it for the long haul, come for the story, i mean I'll update the tags when it starts getting angsty, literally like three quarters of first year passes before they have a real conversation, not like im gonna surprise u with it lol rip, probs sex when they're older, school years, stay for the tags, thats not even an original tag what even is this fandom, there will be trigger warnings just not yet, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-04 12:05:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriussass/pseuds/siriussass
Summary: Sirius doesn't like secrets. Secrets mean trouble, and he knows that given the amount of secrets he hides under layered clothes. But Remus has secrets too, and Sirius would very much like for Remus to never feel any pain at all.





	1. The Taxidermied Peacock and James Potter

  
Sirius was never the sort of baby that could sneeze and float a foot off the ground. He couldn’t levitate objects or slam doors with his mind, and he certainly couldn’t cast actual spells. His parents, for the longest time, worried he might be a Squibb, and he had countless tests done to reinforce the fact that there was _no need_ for the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black to disown a child at four years of age.  
  
Growing up, Sirius couldn’t care less about magic. He liked actually making things, then destroying them and putting them back together. Working with his hands, and with his brain. Sirius liked logic.  
He knew he wasn’t good at magic, because he forced himself to repress it. He knew that an outburst of magic - especially an outburst of _his_ magic, when he had the views and regards to his family that he did, could only mean danger. So he never let any magic come out. And now it seemed he’d pushed it down so far, that Hogwarts didn’t believe he was a wizard.  
  
He turned eleven on the third of November 1970, but did not receive any kind of letter then. In fact, he went through almost a whole year of torment as family after family would send letters by owl of their children's acceptances, and their delight at the news. His parents were losing patience, and he was receiving the brunt of the frustration, no matter how many times he begged for them to see it wasn’t his fault, when he knew deep down it was.  
  
On the 30th of July, when Sirius’ things had already been packed for him to leave the house and never return, there was a sharp rap at the window of Grimmauld Place, and Sirius received his acceptance letter, with tears in his eyes. _It meant he had to stay._  


****

  


Sirius is guided through the busy wizarding streets to Diagon Alley. Although he’d shopped here many a time with his mother or cousins, it had never been so much about him until this day. Walburga’s hand tightens on his shoulder as he’s steered closer to the education and board sector of the shops, and he can’t help but to grin at the amount of wide-eyed children, his age, running in and out of shops, bags upon bags of supplies and new pets tentatively following their owners. Three boys holding cones of ice-cream dart across the road in front of him and his mother, and disappear inside the doorway of _Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop._ Sirius blows out a breath through his front teeth, and wonders what the inside might look like. They are just rounding the corner of the alley when a flash goes off, followed by a rather loud, apologetic ‘Sorry! Sorry!’ And a tall man in socks and sandals with a t-shirt that reads ‘Niffler? I hardly know her!’ in a glaring font puts away a blocky muggle-camera and ushers an embarrassed-looking ginger girl into the dimly lit second-hand broom shop.  
  
‘Mudbloods.’ Sirius’ mother mutters, like venom on her lips. ‘Treating our culture like some kind of amusement park. One of these days someone will stand up to that daft headmasters’ whims and put them back in their place.’  
  
It was an empty threat, and Sirius shrugged the comment off, his mother often repeated the same sentiments on loop.  
  
After another change of direction, Walburga calmly enters _Twilfitt and Tattings_ which, from Sirius’ memory served only as a place for him to stare at the ceiling whilst his mother bossed about the shop assistants.  
  
A little bell rings as the door shuts, and a woman whose name tag is obscured by what appears to be taxidermied peacock head fashioned into a brooch rushes over to greet them.  
  
‘Walburga, _my dear_ ,’ she coons, and Sirius scrunches up his nose. He already knows this woman’s preening is going to get her nowhere. ‘We’ve the fall line in - yes, I know it’s only summer, but I thought you’d like a look first - of course a discount is no question - we simply admire your loyalty -’ She begins rambling, and Sirius knows his mother must hate her.  
  
‘Actually, I’m here to have my first born’s robes fitted.’ She says, without emotion. ‘I understand you’re not in the habit of fitting children, but as I’m such a loyal -’  
  
The woman was cutting her off before she could even finish her second. ‘It’s not a problem at all!’ She grins, far too chipper. ‘Here at Twilfitt and Tattings we’d be proud to fit the Black family school robes! Why, we were just having the same conversation with Euphemia Potter, perhaps your boy and the young Mister James could get to know one another whilst I fish out the fabric bolts? I presume you want Egyptian silk for the lining?’  
  
Sirius had never heard his mother cut off in conversation before, except by maybe his father, and he had certainly never heard of her letting the other person get away with it.  
  
‘Yes.’ She said, simply. ‘Go on through, Sirius. Your Great-Aunt Dorea married a Potter. They are well regarded in our circles.’ She muttered the last bit through her front teeth, but Sirius didn’t seem to mind, as he pushed through a heavy velvet curtain to reveal a large fitting room with three pedestals and seating at the side. 

  


On the far left, a young boy with a mop of messy, dark hair seemed to wander aimlessly, his eyes transfixed on the ceiling, his head bent as far back as it would go. He was blowing some kind of enchanted bubblegum, that changed colours with each pop. Walburga tutted at the misbehaviour, and rolled her eyes, before grinning widely, and stretching her arms out towards a woman in her fifties, who was sat in the corner, reading titled Pride and Prejudice.  
  
‘Euphemia, _my dear!_ ’ She mimicked the shop assistant’s sickly sweet tone, and Sirius knew that this was a business conversation, not a personal one.  
  
‘Walburga Black!’ Euphemia put her book aside, and stood up to greet his mother. They each seemed to settle with holding the other’s elbows in a weird-far-away-hug whilst air kissing each cheek. ‘Gosh, Your Sirius has grown ever so much!’  
  
‘I expect he’ll stop soon enough. I suppose the first born is always the hardest because you’re going into parenting blind. At least it’ll be easier to work out with our - sorry - _my_ next one.’ Euphemia made a face Sirius couldn’t deduce. ‘Tell me, _will_ you be having any more?’  
  
‘I always wanted two boys,’ Said the other woman kindly, ‘but I suppose we’ll see.’ Sirius stared at them for a few moments longer, before turning to find the aforementioned Potter boy breathing down his neck.  
  
‘Wotcher!’ He laughed, grinning a big, toothy grin. Sirius noticed his front incisors were slightly larger that the rest of his teeth, and he wondered why no one had given him a corrective charm. ‘I’m James Potter.’ He said. ‘Is this your first year at Hogwarts too?’  
  
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, when _Taxidermied Peacock Lady_ came butling in, with two doe-eyed assistants at her call. For a while, the boys did not speak, and instead just nodded polite ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no ma’am’s’ to the seamstresses. Sirius was having his winter formal robes fitted in a deep ivy coloured silk, and James’ cuffs were being resized, when the women ran out of pins, and disappeared off to find some more, as well as _‘The perfect pocket square, Master Potter! It should be mustard, with embroidered roses!’_ and the boys were left alone again.  
  
‘What was your name again? Something Black? What did you say?’  
  
‘I didn’t?’ Sirius replied. ‘My name is Sirius Black. The Third’  
  
‘Sirius is a funny name.’  
  
‘It’s an old name. It’s a constellation. That’s why my parents named me it. Why’d your parents name you James?’  
  
The boy screwed up his face for a moment, thinking. ‘I dunno? I guess they just liked the name.’ Sirius wondered whether this boy really was a pureblood or not.  
  
‘When did you get your letter?’ he asked, bluntly, suspicious.  
  
‘Oh! I got mine last Christmas! It was well funny - Olinone - that’s our family owl, he’s named after some muggle hair product my dad’s mad about - anyway, he comes crashing down the chimney in the middle of the night, and we all run to see what’s happening, and there he is; tangled in christmas lights, having knocked the tree over, and letter _still_ in his mouth! I must admit, he’s a right klutz, but he gets the job done!’ Sirius couldn’t help but snigger at the story.  
  
‘That sounds highly unlikely.’  
  
‘No! I swear it’s true! I solemnly swear!’  
  
‘You don’t sound very solemn.’  
  
James laughed at that. Like he was an eleven year old boy who could afford to. ‘Yeah, well you sound way too solemn! Want to be my friend?’  
  
Sirius raised his eyebrow at this question. He had never been asked to be someone's friend before. In fact, the only friend he had was his thumb-sucking nine year old brother.  
  
‘Perhaps.’ He said, sounding dignified. Almost like his father might. ‘What house will you be in. Mother said I should only mix with the right sort.’  
  
‘And what sort is that?’  
  
‘I don’t know. Pureblood’s, I suppose. People with lots of money and power.’  
  
‘And who do you _want_ to mix with?’  
  
‘I don’t know. People who like me, I suppose. I just do what my mother tells me to.’  
  
James gives Sirius what he thinks is meant to be an empathetic look, but one glance over at Euphemia would certify that James truly had no idea what it was like living in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. No idea indeed.  
  
‘Gryffindor.’ James said.  
  
‘What?’  
  
‘I want to be in Gryffindor. It’s where my dad was put, and they’re super brave, and they have the best _mustard and rose embroidered pocket squares!’_ James can’t help but to laugh at his joke, and it’s just so innocent, but Sirius just nods sadly.  
  
‘It’s a shame.’ He said. ‘I’m going to be a slytherin. It’s in the Black blood - but, if you’re missorted, I’d be glad to be your friend. Everyone knows Gryffindor and Slytherin are most definitely academic rivals, though that doesn't mean we can’t maintain an amicable acquaintance with each other for the future of our education.’  
  
James is quiet for a moment, before laughing even louder than before. Walburga turns and tuts dissaprovingly.  
  
_‘Contain your child.’_ Sirius hears her say.  
  
‘What’s so funny?’ He asks, indignant.  
  
‘You just -’ James laughs again, ‘- You just talk so posh. I mean, my family are just as sacred as yours, but at least I get to talk like an actual child! You just sound stupid!’  
  
Sirius was furious, and wondered whether this was the way his mother felt towards the whole world, constantly. ‘Well. It doesn't seem like you are so friendly after all.’ Sirius didn’t like bullies. He had enough of those in his life already. He turned his back on James, and tucked his hair neatly behind his ear, before continuing the rest of the fitting.  


  


Sirius was buttoning up his outer-wear robe and tying his shoelaces as his mother paid for the _fifteen_ sets of outfits he had been fitted, when he heard the familiar voice of that James on the other side of the thick curtain.  
  
_‘Well, how did you like him? Did you two become friends?’_  
  
_‘I don’t think so, Mum. He’s a Black - and I’ve heard things -’_  
  
_‘Was he cruel to you?’_  
  
_‘Well, no -’_  
  
_‘Then why would you judge him by his family name?’_  
  
_‘I don’t -’_  
  
_‘Why don’t you try again with him, at Hogwarts?’_  
  
_‘Okay.’_ There was a long pause, and Sirius almost felt like leaving, save being scolded later due to his foot-dragging and general tardiness or some other nonsense, no doubt.  
  
_‘Mum?’_  
  
_‘Yes?’_  
  
_‘I think he’s just hurting.’_


	2. Loyalties, and the Black Sisters of Past, Present, and Future

  
Sirius didn’t like being wrong. Being wrong meant being punished. But admitting he was wrong might also, in this particular case, lead to him having a friend. He didn’t like to think about it. Lucky for Sirius, thanks to the fact that just that morning he believed himself to be being kicked out into the gutter by his own family - if one could even call them that - his bags were already packed, so he only needed to ask Kreacher to charm his new-bought robes and books to fit in his _Anything-Grows_ drawstring pouch, and he’d be ready to set off to Kings Cross in the morning. _’You can go on your own, can you not? I’m awfully busy tomorrow.’_ his mother had said, to which he confirmed that yes, he could indeed see himself off to the boarding school that he’d be living in for the next seven years.  
  
He left for the station at nine-o’clock the next day, and arrived at a-quarter-past-ten, to a bustling platform full of parents and children, all excited and anxious alike. He noted that even the older ones, the seventh years, all worn out from the heavy summer workload, had arrived with parents in tow, giving last minute advice and taking pictures for family albums - or maybe even to hang on the walls. Sirius was immediately drawn towards a girl in a purple dress, with her dark hair tied in a bun atop her head. Her arms were tightly crossed, and she leant against the brickwork with a scowl engraved onto her face. She looked like the right sort.  
  
‘Hullo.’ Greeted Sirius, trying the new, confident voice that he’d been working on. ‘I’m Sirius Black the Third, of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. And you are?’  
  
Sirius looked up expectantly, and the girl huffed, before seemingly giving up, and just screaming. ‘ _Freak! You’re all FREAKS!’_ and running off without so much as a goodbye. The muggle-man Sirius had seen the day previously had gone running after the girl, though with the crowds increasing heavily, it seemed unlikely he’d catch her before he made it outside.  
  
‘Sorry about her.’ Sirius turned to see a small girl with fiercely red hair and calmly green eyes smiling sadly at him. Even for an eleven year old, she was tiny.  
  
‘She’s a muggle.’ Sirius said, dumbly. ‘And so is your father.’  
  
‘And so is my mother.’ The girl smiled. ‘Can you believe it? I’m the first Evans in history with magic! I’m going to make them so proud!’  
  
‘Why did she call me a freak?’ He asked.  
  
‘Because magic is bad in...muggle...culture. Muggles don’t like wizards and witches.’  
  
‘Wizards and witches don’t like muggles.’ Sirius countered.  
  
‘Yes.’ Said the girl. ‘I think that’s how ignorance works.’  
  
‘My name is Sirius.’ Sirius said, and didn’t bother with the rest, because it wouldn’t mean anything to her anyway.  
  
‘Lily Evans.’ She grins, and sticks out her hand. Sirius shakes it, and feels his mother's’ monstrous voice screaming in his head _’How dare you? How dare you ruin our name by associating yourself with people like her?’_  
  
She had gone by the time Sirius had stopped staring at his feet, so he supposed that problem could be dealt with later. He had just about gotten to the steps of the first carriage when he heard the screech of a voice he really didn’t need.  
  
‘SIRIUS!’ Bellatrix, his cousin and recent graduate of Hogwarts _which is why she has no reason to be here_ was calling him back. He sighed, before turning back to her, and noting Cissa at her side, as always.  
  
‘Didn’t think you could get away without some word of luck from your favourite girls?’ She smiled, pulling him in for a bone-breaking hug. ‘Don’t do anything stupid now!’ she laughed, booping him on the nose before skipping away into the throngs of people.  
  
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Sirius turned to Cissa, the gentler of the two.  
  
‘It means that we know you...sometimes do things that...make Uncle Orion cross.’  
  
‘What am I supposed to do here that will make them cross?’  
  
‘Just…’ She looked like she was really trying to tell him something, without saying any of the necessary words. ‘You know what things are like with Andy - it’s difficult when people in the family have...differing opinions. Andy did the right thing. Know where your loyalties lie.’ And then Cissa turned and climbed onto the Hogwarts Express, calling out to some of her friends as she did so.

  
Sirius waited a moment before following suit. He knew full well that he looked like a Black from head to toe, and would be judged as one too. He raised an eyebrow, and, in a flicker of rebellion, undid the top button on his shirt. Moving through the carriages, a few older students stopped him to shake his hand, clearly interested in the new addition to the collection of surefire Slytherins.  
  
When at last he reached the prefects cabin, despite the odd looks people were flashing him, he called over to Andy, who was curled up in the corner reading a tatted book with an odd plastic coating the title, reading _Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?_ Sirius presumed it was something muggle, and thought it better to steer clear. And then he thought that he should maybe just screw that theory and talk to his cousin.  
  
‘What’s up, Chick?’ She asked, scooching over so he didn’t have to stand awkwardly in the middle of the other prefects conversations. ‘Nervous for your first day?’  
  
‘I think I’m mostly just glad to get away.’ Sirius said, honestly.  
  
‘I get that, Chick. Seriously, Hogwarts is the best place for you, just remember -’  
\  
‘- Where my loyalties lie?’ Sirius said, finishing the sentence with Cissa’s words.  
  
‘Ew, no!’ Andy laughs. ‘I mean, yeah - but not like that.’  
  
Sirius shuffled uncomfortable, still none the wiser. ‘Cissa said that you _made the right choice_. What does that mean?’ He asked carefully.  
  
‘She’s referring to the Sorting Hat. It takes suggestions.’  
  
‘So?’  
  
‘So...I was originally sorted into Hufflepuff. I didn’t want to get disowned by the family so I asked it to change its mind - which it did.’ She shrugged, like it was the easiest thing in the world.  
  
‘Black’s don’t have to be Slytherin?’  
  
‘Most of us just want to impress our lovely elitist parents. Whereas big sis Bella? Slytherin through and through.’  
  
‘I suppose I can’t argue with that.’ He said, and then, after a moment's pause, ‘But do you belong in Slytherin?’  
  
Andromeda sighed, deep and contemplative. ‘I think you can learn to. I never did. I had an awful time. The hat, for the largest part, judges your character. So like ninety-nine percent of the time they’re right. Even if you don’t agree.’  
  
Sirius nodded, glad he could have someone to talk some kind of sense, as opposed to the madhouse and the family within.  
  
‘I’d get changed into your robes and find a seat if I were you.’ Andy said, smiling. Just as he was turning to leave, he heard her say ‘And I think you can be more rebellious than a top button, but don’t think I didn’t notice.’

  
‘Hullo again.’ Sirius said, meek, standing in the doorway of James Potter’s compartment, of which he had to himself.  
  
‘Oh.’ Was all James said at first. ‘Hello. Do you want to sit?’  
  
‘Please.’ It was incredibly uncomfortable, the air was stale.  
  
‘I would like to apologise for my behaviour at the fitting.’ James began. ‘I’m aware I don’t really know when to shut up, and if I think something, I generally just say it. But I hadn’t meant to be cruel. Especially about your upbringing - I know family is important.’  
  
‘Thank You, but it isn’t.’ Sirius said simply, throwing a curveball which James ducked under, and mentally filed under _never bring up again_.  
  
‘So I was wondering if we could start anew?’ Asks James, and the increase in complex syntax is not wasted on Sirius. ‘I hope we can maintain more than just an amicable acquaintance with each other for the future of our education’ James jokes, nervously. It’s apparent to Sirius that James had clearly weighed up the likely outcomes of telling that joke, and the pros beat the cons.  
  
‘That’s rather funny.’ Said Sirius, undoing a second button. ‘But we can most certainly be more than just amicable acquaintances.’  
  
‘Why is that?’ James asks, subconsciously opening his pack of gum, popping a piece in his mouth, and offering one to Sirius. Sirius takes it.  
  
‘Because I’m not going to be a Slytherin.’ He says rather simply. ‘I’m going to be a Gryffindor!’  
  
‘I think we’re going to be very good friends indeed.’ Smiled James, and Sirius grinned, because he had found his loyalties, and he had gotten away from home and he had made a friend, _and_ he had his first ever piece of gum.

  
The train ride was splendid, and by the time they had cast off in the boats under the full moon, Sirius had met a pretty girl named Dorcas, and a small boy who cried a lot called Peter, as well as introducing James to Lily, and her friend-from-home Severus. He shook Sirius’ hand firmly and told him he was looking forward to downing in Slytherin together, to which Sirius nodded, and said nothing.  
  
‘Geez,’ James had said, when they were out of earshot, ‘What a smarmy twat.’  
  
Sirius laughed. ‘You can’t say things like that, James, You really don’t have a filter, do you?’

  
The Great Hall was awe-inducing, and Sirius had gone to a great many galas, but none set anywhere near as fine as the banquet hall. Thousands of real candles floated about the beams of the intricately-carved wood vault ceiling, and each of the house flags hung with pride along one of the four tables that ran the length of the hall.  
  
‘That’s a shame.’ Lily cooed, under her breath. ‘I read that, In _Hogwarts: A History_ The ceiling is normally charmed to reflect the current night sky. Perhaps something went wrong.’ It appeared she was perhaps just whispering to sound smart, but it launched her into conversation with Severus, and they didn’t stop until all the chatter ceased, when the headmaster himself, Professor Albus Dumbledore, stood to speak.  
  
He welcomed everyone gratefully to the ceremony, with the simple announcement that the Forbidden Forest was still forbidden, and a reminder to students that, although the Shrieking Shack was not on school property, it is and always will be off limits, and trespassers can be fined. Furthermore, the new tree at the front of the school should not for any reason be provoked. Sirius looked over to James, and knew in an instant that James had also put those three items on the top of the _places we should visit_ file in his head.  
  
After that, Professor McGonagall stood with a beat up leather hat that sprung to life and started singing, much to the joy of the older students, who joined in terribly, making it impossible for Sirius to decipher the real lyrics. McGonagall explained that, due to strenuous circumstances, and certain students replying to their acceptance letters late, The first years will be sorted by alphabetical order, save a Mister Black, who will be sorted at the end, and a Mr Lupin, who would be joining the school later in the week.  
  
James frowned at Sirius, ‘What did you do? Why are you last?’  
  
Sirius didn’t really have an answer other than _‘I didn’t get a letter so I presumed I was a squibb and my parents tried to kick me out.’_ so he just shrugged his shoulders.  
  
Lily got sorted to Gryffindor,  
  
Dorcas to Hufflepuff,  
  
A girl called Marlene to Gryffindor  
  
Peter went to Gryffindor  
  
As did James (Who gave Sirius a huge thumbs up in front of everyone, and then gave the Slytherin table the bird, to which he was docked three points)  
  
Severus went to slytherin  
  
And the others were dotted about inbetween.

  
‘Sirius Black’. The professor called, looking him straight in the eye, what with him being the last one still standing. Sirius swallowed dry, and walked towards the small wooden chair. He made eye contact with Andy, who smiled reassuringly, and to James, who just grinned. The hat was placed slowly onto Sirius’ head.  
  
‘Another Black? Really?’ The hat said, bored. ‘SLYTHER-’  
  
‘Wait!’ Whispered Sirius, inside his head. ‘I’m not Slytherin material.’ He continued.  
  
‘A Black not in Slytherin? I doubt that! I even gave one of you spawn the chance to trailblaze, but she took the easy road…’  
  
‘I don’t want the easy road.’ Sirius said, his eyes clamped tight. ‘I think I deserve to be judged on who I am, not just my name.’  
  
‘Smart boy…’ The hat agreed. ‘And where do you belong?’  
  
Sirius thought he might back out. Or say goodbye to James forever. Or perhaps just leave the school and never look back. _no._ ‘I...I know where my loyalties lie. And it’s not with anything noble or ancient. My loyalties lie with trust, and logic.’  
  
‘So, perhaps you should wear blue?’  
  
‘NO.’ Sirius was stronger now. ‘I’m a Gryffindor.’  
  
‘Saying it doesn’t make it so, child.’  
  
‘My cousin has made it through seven years of school in the wrong house. I don’t want to do the same.’  
  
‘Your family-’  
  
‘I know where my loyalties lie.’  
  
Sirius opened his eyes, and the room was very still, all heads turned. He wondered how long he’d been talking to the hat. Silence stretched out in front of him, and he almost wished he could just sink into the floor beneath him.  
  
_’GRYFFINDOR!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos/comments! they really encourage me (and believe me I need encouragement)


	3. The Weaker Gryffindors and The Italian Job

The hall did not erupt in applause as it had for Lily, and for James, and Severus and Dorcas and Peter and Marlene and every other shakey little eleven year old as their fate was sealed in front of hundreds. Sirius stood, wavering for a moment, wondering why on earth he’d ever thought that straying from his families path would be a good thing, and imagining all the torture that would follow him over the next eight years, maybe longer. _Why would he do this?_  
Professor McGonagall smiled at him with sad eyes as she moved her hand gently to his back. ‘Come along now, Mister Black.’ She said quietly, as she maneuvered him towards the table on his far left. He made eye contact with Cissa, who seemed nothing but sad, and looked away mournfully.   
Then something rather wonderful happened. A Mister James Potter stood, at the far end of the Gryffindor table, and slowly raised his hands to clap. Unlike Sirius’ cousin, James’ gaze remained strong, and he continued to clap until the rest of the table had joined in, as had the other students. He only stopped when Sirius was sat beside him, smiling weakly, and receiving pats on the back and handshakes from the surrounding students. He didn’t want the think about the eyes burning in the back of his head.   
‘I knew you’d make it in, Sirius!’ Laughed James, as if he hadn’t just witnessed the most awkward sorting in the history of Hogwarts. McGonagall smiled, and quietly replaced the points James had had deducted, and some.   
‘Now, as aforementioned,’ She announced when the commotion had died down, ‘Another student, a Mister Remus Lupin, will be joining us later on, but due to the untimeliness, he will be sorted privately upon...arrival, and sent to the correlating dormitory afterwards. I shall now pass you back to the Headmaster, to let the feast begin.’  
‘James.’ Sirius whispers, under his breath but loud enough for the boy to turn his head.  
‘Yes?’  
‘Thank you. You’re brave. And kind. Do you think you could teach me to be like that?’  
James smiled, reminding Sirius once again that he had very clearly never seen suffering. It was quite a nice look on an eleven year old boy. ‘Sirius, you’re a Gryffindor! You already are those things!’  
‘I’m not courageous, James. I don’t want to be weak willed. I want to be like -’  
Before he could finish his sentence, the ginger girl, Lily, leaned across to speak to him. ‘Sirius! I’m so glad we’re in the same house, I was worried I wouldn’t know anyone!’  
Sirius smiled at her weakly, losing his train of thought.  
‘Once I’m settled in, I’m going to find the Slytherin common room - that way I can hang out with my friend Severus - You’re welcome to come too! He was sure looking forward to being your friend, he seems to think the world of your family.’  
‘I think he may have gotten the wrong idea…’  
‘Oh, well...He’s a really nice boy - my only friend really, I just can’t wait to explore this place!’  
At this point, James had turned into their conversation, with raised eyebrows. ‘Why don’t you just stay with the Gryffindors tonight? I heard there's going to be a party, and secret food, and games -’  
‘Yes, but I already promised my _friend._ ’ Lily seemed rather curt with James, which Sirius found odd. James was just so likable.  
‘Well, suit yourself Carrots.’ James laughed, whilst Lily turned red. Sirius gave James a look that suggested _’take that back or you may just make a girl cry within the first day of being here.’_ James seemed to understand.  
‘Sorry. It was just a joke. My name’s James.’ He said, blushing.  
‘Oh,’ Lily laughed a ridiculous false laugh that made heads turn . ‘Yes, well, I got it _Gilbert._ ’ She said, before ‘My name is Lily Evans.’  
‘Evans? I don’t recognise -’  
‘She’s muggleborn.’ Sirius put simply. ‘We met on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.’  
‘Oh.’ Was all James seemed to manage. ‘You’re progressing faster than we thought.’ He laughed.

After a dinner full of hot potatoes and sprouts and roast every-meat-imaginable, and trifle and scones and warm apple crumble with ice-cream and jelly, the tables dealt with a great deal of commotion, until all the upper-year students had meandered back to their dormitories or the grounds or the library, and only the Prefects and first-years remained. After a quick talk by the prefects, the houses left the great hall one by one. Sirius looked up to find two tall prefects, told apart by the small ‘P’ on the lapel of their robes, standing, gawking at the group of students. Sirius recognised the boy, who was ginger and sported a rather huge proboscis, but not unattractively, as having shook his hand on the way to find Andy on the train.   
‘Hullo, newest Gryffindor recruits!’ He grinned toothy, ‘We are glad to have you in our ranks, and we are sure you will make your house proud, after all, _Gryffindor’s are the best!_ ’ He mock-whispered.  
‘Ehem.’ Professor McGonagall seemed to appear from thin air as she gave the prefect a disapproving look, her head cocked to one side. ‘Whilst I understand the importance of - how would you say - rallying the troops, and, _whilst I don’t necessarily disagree with your statement_ ’ She smiled, ‘I do hope, Mister Prewett, that you may hurry them to the dormitories, else a Mister Filch may have a field day in deducting house points.’  
The prefect reddened with embarrassment, and nodded quickly. ‘Er, Yes Professor.’  
‘Very good.’ She said, sweeping out the hall.  
‘As I...As I was saying. My name’s Fabian - Prewett that is, and that there just so happens to be Head Girl Morgana Gillard.’ The girl, who had blonder-than-blonde hair smiled, and waved. ‘So if you’d like to follow the two of us, we’ll show you to the Gryffindor common rooms - this weeks password is - and remember it carefully - _You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!’_ \- don’t ask why, Morgana chose it.’  
Morgana rolled her eyes. ‘It’s to make the muggle-borns feel more welcomed, idiot. You know, united front and all that?’ She turned back to the first-years ‘It’ll change in a week, so make sure you ask us for the new one, else you’ll be locked out and Filch’ll getcha!’   
Fabian Laughed, Marlene, on the other hand, looked rather shaky.  
‘Excuse me, but what’s a Filch?’

A sum of seven girls, and eight boys had been sorted into Gryffindor house, and they were roomed accordingly. Morgana explained when they were all sat in the common room that the girls would be split to a four and a three, and the boys would be split in two fours. They explained how, due to undiscovered muggle-borns, and squibbs, that it was always difficult to know how many students would be arriving, but there was rarely more than twenty-per-house, and almost never less-than-ten. Often, any beds spare in the dormitories were recorded, and Professor McGonagall would come and transfigured them into settees or spare wardrobes.  
‘Should we go and meet our roommates?’ James asked, sure they would be boarding together. Sirius thought that he’d better get a head start with unpacking, what with having to hide all that green-and-silver.  
‘I suppose so.’  
As they made there way upstairs, a loud voice drew nearer.  
 _’No way! He’ll curse me in my sleep!’_ The boy cried, _’I’m taking my things over to that other room - what with there being a spare bed and all!’_  
 _’I’m sure he’s not that bad. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been sorted here.’_ Another voice chimed in.  
 _’Fine. Do whatever you want; but you’re the one that’s going to have to live with him breathing down your neck’_ They heard a door slam, and then one open, and that one slam too. James gave Sirius a pitying look, and Sirius wished he hadn’t.  
They opened their door to find the small boy, Peter, shaking in the middle of the room, wide-eyed. ‘I guess you heard all that?’ He said, quietly. ‘I told him he should stay, but-’  
‘Don’t worry, Peter.’ James said, reassuringly, before turning to Sirius. ‘He’ll come around - all the best ones do, and if he doesn’t? That kid’s not worth it.’  
Sirius smiled, looking between the two boys, before spotting his trunk at the end of the farthest bed, wide open, and _Slytherin pride_ out for the world to see.   
‘I guess I should get rid of that stuff.’ Sirius said quietly.  
‘It’s okay.’ Peter replied, moving over to his own bed. ‘I think people don’t think I belong here either.’  
‘Really?’  
‘Tell you the truth, I thought I was a Squibb. Never cast a spell, too afraid to try.’  
Sirius looked up at the boy then, and really looked at him, reading him. ‘I’ve never cast a spell either. Maybe we can learn together.’ He wondered whether this thing he was doing would be classed as ‘bonding.’ Peter nodded, smiling small.  
‘WHAT?’ James gasped, completely breaking the moment. ‘You’ve never tried magic? Not even to pick a lock? Or change the colour of your dad’s hair when he wasn’t looking? You must be MAD!’  
And they all laughed. Sirius thought that maybe it was better just having a small group of friends, it meant he didn’t have to worry about too much, or rely on too many. He thought that perhaps three _was_ the magic number.

Night came rather quickly after that, and soon everyone had packed away their belongings, and had gotten ready for bed, curtains closed. But for some reason Sirius couldn’t sleep. He blamed it on having to share a room; he wasn’t used to the foreign sounds of breathing and James’ little snores. He could hear their bathroom tap dripping quietly, and within the hour Sirius had managed to fix the piping and tighten the valve to stop it from doing so. He wondered if anyone would notice. They wouldn’t. At half-past-eleven, he quietly slipped on some socks, and left the dorm for the common room, which was empty, given that none of the older students had any homework yet, and had already had the train ride and dinner to catch up with one another.   
The fire was still crackling away warmly, and the sofas were a dancing orange-red in the light. Bookcases were filled to the brim with so many titles Sirius wondered why they even needed a library at all. A half-played game of chess was lain out peacefully, and an unwound roll of parchment was twisting back up by itself in the corner, a quill marking off each foot as they passed. Sirius’ feet pulled his towards a large, arched, bay window, at which he took a seat. Outside the grounds were foggy, but lit miraculously by the full moon - which seemed closer than ever. _something magical must be happening_ he wondered, thinking back to the fairy stories Andy used to read to him and Cissa whenever he slept ‘round.   
The window looked out far past the grounds, across the lake to the right, over the forbidden forest ahead of him, and all the way over to the twinkling lights of Hogsmeade, to the left. Passed that, the Scottish hills took over, peaking and diving, miles upon miles, and Sirius understood. This was safe now. This was home.

The portrait-hole opened. Sirius’ head whipped round, to see Lily lightly closing it behind her as she tiptoed further into the room.  
‘Hullo there.’ Sirius whispered, getting a slight jolt of glee as she jumped from fright; she had obviously not noticed him.  
‘How goes it with the Slytherins?’ He asks.  
‘Well.’ Lily begins, after regaining her composure. ‘They don’t seem to like me very much, what with me being a Gryffindor _and_ a muggle-born.’  
‘Oh, right...but how’s your friend?’  
‘Severus?’ She says, ‘He’s good. He definitely fits it - they all look rather alike.’  
‘That tends to happen with purebloods.’ Sirius jokes.  
‘Yes, well, they all also seem rather cross at you, really.’  
‘Really?’  
‘Yes. A tall blonde boy laughed when I said I rather liked you, and he said he thinks a...a howler is in order. What’s a howler?’  
Sirius sighed, and thought about how much he hated Lucius Malfoy, and how, knowing him, he would have already sent out a letter with the news. ‘I guess you’ll see tomorrow.’ Sirius said.  
There was a long pause, where Lily just stood there silently, and Sirius wondered why she hadn’t left already. After a while longer, she said; ‘I do hope you’ll consider me a friend, Sirius.’  
‘Why wouldn’t I?’  
‘I just mean...I just mean that I very much consider you a friend.’  
Sirius thought she might be asking him a question he didn’t understand, or perhaps suggesting that as weaker Gryffindors, they ought to stick together. He wondered whether he should bring Peter in on it too. Instead he just bid her goodnight.


	4. Breakfast is Eventful as is The Infirmary

Post arrived at exactly eight in the morning, whilst James was shovelling toast into his mouth as fast as possible, and Peter was describing Velcro to a witch a couple of seats along. James received a letter from his parents, as well as a parcel containing approximately fourteen pairs of socks. _‘Ah, I was looking for those.’_ Peter set about reading the funnies at the back of The Daily Prophet, and Sirius received a nice little red envelope.

‘Lily,’ He said, not touching it, ‘I think you’ll want to see this.’ as James simultaneously said ‘Don’t touch it mate, it’s not worth it!’

But it was too late. The envelope opened and origamied itself into a little face, with a rather large mouth.  
_’SIRIUS ORION BLACK!’_ Walburga’s voice screamed, loud enough to rattle the plates on the table, and have all heads turn to face him. _YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME ON THE NOBLE AND MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK. YOU WERE GIVEN A CLEAR PATH AND YET YOU ASKED TO STRAY? HOW DARE YOU, YOU COMPLETELY UNGRATEFUL, SOU -’_

The voice cut of shortly, and Sirius looked up to see Professor McGonagall stood at the head of the table, wand out, having wordlessly ignited the Howler. She smiled at him sadly, before turning to the rest of the hall and clapping promptly, forcing everyone to go back to their breakfasts. 

‘Who _was_ that?’ Lily asked, shocked. Her hair looked almost static, and her eyes were beyond wide. 

‘That, my dear friend, was a Howler.’ Sirius said, ‘From my mother.’ 

The rest of breakfast went on somewhat awkwardly; it was unheard of for a student to receive a howler on their first day, and for _Sirius Black?_ It seemed like it was all anyone could talk about, as if he was some kind of evil for not being in Slytherin with the rest of his family. 

_’He’s trouble, for sure._ He heard some lanky boy whisper a few seats along. _’Glad I got out of that dorm when I did - I just can’t believe James Potter would want to be friends with someone like him.’_

Sirius hadn’t really thought of it like that. Before he had been sorted, and James was talking about Gryffindor house, Sirius reckoned the other boy was beneath his status. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that James might be too good for him. Doubt swarmed around him, and he looked down at his plate of eggs, suddenly not hungry anymore. 

‘S’wrong?’ Asked Peter, who had turned his attention. Jam had oozed out his mouth, and dripped down one side of his chin, and in any other circumstance Sirius would have scolded him for his bad table manners, but at this point in time he wanted to be as far from his mother's logic as possible, so instead he just smiled. 

‘It’s nothing,’ he said, as bright as he could manage. ‘I’m just nervous for our first day of classes!’ He turned to Lily, who was reading some long-winded article a few pages deep into The Daily Prophet. ‘What do we have first, Lily?’ 

She scrunched her face up, clearly recalling an already-memorised schedule. ‘Potions, then Transfiguration and Defence against the Dark Arts, then Flying after lunch.’ She smiled. ‘I’ve heard Professor Slughorn has all the smartest wizards and witches form a club that has exclusive access to his contacts during private parties and events! If I want to get anywhere in the wizarding community then I’ll be sure to show keen interesting during his lesson today - especially what with us joining his Slytherins -’ She blabbed, almost talking faster than she could think. 

Suddenly Sirius realised; ‘What was that?’ he asked. 

‘Oh, well, Professor Slughorn is the Head of the Slytherin house, so he’s bound to be paying them more attention since he knows them better - I expect Professor McGonagall will do the same for us. I’m sure they try to be unbiased but -’ 

'We have Potions with the Slytherins?’ 

‘Well, yes. Each class we have is shared with another house, but I’m sure -’ 

Sirius didn’t want to hear the rest. Already his stomach had been swimming with the untimely reminder that his mother still had a firm hand on hi shoulder, but having to study with the Slytherin’s now? Especially after the fiasco in the great hall, he’d be a laughing stock. Sirius sprang to his feet, and legged it out the hall, and down a long stone corridor. _He just needed to get out._ Before he knew what was happening, his foot had caught on some kind of cranny in the stone floor, and had sent him flying. 

‘Dear me, boy.’ Some deep voice rumbled, concerned. ‘You do appear to have caused quite the calamity.’ 

Sirius looked up from the disembodied suit of armour; into which he had crashed, to see the head teacher himself, chuckling past his half-moon specs. He didn’t quite know what to say, nor what was the etiquette around such a man. Walburga had always taught Sirius to bow to gentlemen with such great power, but from the way Professor Dumbledore was creasing his face, laughing, he thought it may only make the situation more embarrassing. 

‘I’m sorry, Sir. I’ll fix it, Sir.’ He mumbled, picking himself up off the floor, and brushing off a preposterous amount of dust from his robes. 

]‘Nonsense.’ Dumbledore exclaimed, as the suit of armour fixed itself under a no-doubt wordless charm. ‘What you might need, however,’ he murmured, frowning, ‘Is that head of yours seeing to. That was a nasty fally you took there -’ 

Sirius couldn’t imagine anything worse than imposing on the day of the headmaster. ‘Oh no, Sir.’ He said quickly, ‘It’s truly fine, I’ll be off to class now -’ Sirius turned to go, but Dumbledore’s clever words forced him to turn back. 

‘I do wish the students here would be less afraid of me.’ It was a ploy. It was very clearly a ploy to get Sirius to go with him, but Merlin's Beard, it worked. He noticed a glint in Dumbledore's eye as he made his decision. ‘Very well then, this way to the hospital wing!’ He was far too chipper to be taking Sirius to get medical help for a bump on the head that _really didn’t hurt that much._

The hospital wing was _quite_ the walk, and Sirius thought that this whole scheme may have been a little purposeful, as the head teacher opened his mouth to speak again. ‘So, Mister Sirius Black. The first Black to make it to Gryffindor. How very quaint. Why do you think that happened?’ 

Sirius didn’t know how to answer that. ‘I don’t know how to answer that.’ 

‘Well, I mean, do you have a quality that sets you apart from your kin?’ 

Sirius wondered if it were a loaded question, or even _what_ Dumbledore was trying to get him to say. ‘I suppose I wouldn’t really fit in wherever I was placed, Sir.’ He says cautiously. They arrive at a large double door made of oak, which Dumbledore pushes open with ease. 

‘Well then,’ He begins, like he’s up to something. ‘I suppose you’ll be needing to make a few close friends.’ 

Sirius was about to say he agreed, when Dumbledore continued on, as if he’d never paused in the first place. ‘Poppy, It seems Mister Black here may have a concussion.’ He sets Sirius to sit on the edge of the closest bed, before walking off to the other side of the room. 

_‘Remus, my boy!’_ He seems to be putting on an air of cheer that wasn’t previously present. The nurse, _Poppy_ came over to assist him, but he couldn’t help but continue to earwig. 

_‘Feeling better? That Pepperup seems to have worked wonders.’_

_‘Yes, Sir.’_ A small voice replied. 

_‘At this rate, we can be moving you into the dorm room tonight - The first Lupin to make it to Gryffindor - it feels like yesterday we were sorting your dad - don’t worry, the boys you’ll be staying with seem very welcoming. If you’re up for it, you could join them for lunch.’_

Sirius wasn’t stupid, and found it rather simple that the boy who was absent from the sorting ceremony was apparently going to be staying with James and Peter and him. Sirius was also smart enough to realise Dumbledore was trying to introduce them, before they’d actually met. 

_‘I’d rather not, Sir. I’m quite happy to continue my work in here.’_

_‘Very well, my boy.’_ He said, and there was a pause before, _‘Say, you haven’t eaten any of the Bertie Bott's I left you. Whyever not?’_

_‘Sorry, Sir, I hadn’t realised they were from you, Sir. It’s just, I prefer chocolate.’_ Sirius smirked. His second day at Hogwarts, and this kid was already sassing the headteacher. Perhaps they would get along. 

Just at that moment, Dumbledore came back into view, at which point he raised an eyebrow carefully at Sirius, then silently left. When Madame Pomfrey (as she had asked Sirius to call her) had stopped fussing over him for a moment, Sirius was able to turn his head, to look in the direction of the boy, at which point, he lost his breath. 

He had never seen someone so...so...so _ugly_ in all his life. The boy’s body was frail and swamped by the hospital gown he wore as he sat up reading, and his face was heavily contorted by deep, gaping gashes that must have been fresh. _He must have been in an accident. That’s why he wasn’t at the ceremony._ For a moment he put down his book, and coughed a rattly cough that seemed to weigh down the air around him, like the bags under his eyes. His arms were banded, and his hair scruffy and fine over his forehead. He looked up through his eyelashes and fringe for a moment, catching Sirius’ open-jawed gaze, before quickly looking away, and shoving his head back in the book he was reading, before coughing again. 

Sirius had a million questions, of who and what and why and where. But most importantly, he needed to tell James of his little espionage. 

‘- and if it still hurts then, come back to me and I’ll have another look over it. Do you - do - _MISTER BLACK._ ’ Madam Pomfrey’s shrill voice pulled Sirius back to reality, and he looked up to see her with a rather exhausted look plastered across her otherwise dainty face. ‘- Were you paying attention to any of that, Mister Black?’ 

[Sirius nodded, ‘Not even one word of it, I apologise.’ 

She sighed. ‘Well it’s not going to drop off, and if it hurts tomorrow, come back then.’ 

Sirius wondered why she didn’t just say that in the first place. ‘Well, thank you for the once-over, I did say it was unnecessary, but I understand your time is valuable so I’m grateful regardless. I should really be getting to class now. What with it being my first day and all…’ 

And with that, he was up and gone. _Remus Lupin! Remus Lupin! Remus Lupin!_ He tried repeating the name over in his head so he wouldn’t forget. He tried retracing his steps back to the Great Hall in order to find the dungeons, and more importantly, _James_ When once again he was flying through the air - except this time someone was dragging him, and before he knew it, he was being forced into an alcove, with heavy breath against his neck. 

_‘SIRIUS!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do u reckon it is then? make ur guesses now bc I might update tomorrow but just as easily u may never see me again lol rip isn't uni a BLAST?!


	5. Confusing Hair and Remus is a Prick

'Ow, _OW!_ ' Sirius snatched his wrist back and reorientated himself in the shadows, before looking up to see Cissa staring down at him through her platinum waves. He was always interested in her hair; he often wondered why of all the Blacks, she was so fair. She stuck out - and maybe that was why she was so keen to fit in.

’Sirius!’ She mock-whispered, her voice shrill. ‘You’re in Gryffindor! Bella says she wants you off the tree - Black’s are Slytherin. It’s as simple as that.’ She sighed, frustrated. ‘You could have chosen, like Andy!’

’Cissa,’ Sirius said, wary. ‘I did choose. I chose Gryffindor.’

’You...Sirius, no.’ Cissa’s voice cracked. She seemed worried more than anything, and Sirius wasn’t used to this, coming from her. ‘Only bad things are going to happen. Everyone’s going to turn on you, and what am I supposed to do?’ 

Sirius didn’t like the way the adults in the family acted, but the way they forced their kids to act was so much worse. It was always clear growing up that Bella and Andy were on two opposing ends of a spectrum, but placing Cissa had always been difficult. Sirius felt sorry for her. ‘I needed to do this -’

‘That’s bull, Sirius! You’re eleven! You don’t need to be starting a war with the family -’

‘Who says I’m starting a war?’ He bites back. ‘I’m not cutting myself off from you guys. I’m not afraid to be seen with you, you’re family - and literally my only friends. Everyone in Gryffindor thinks I don’t belong - so I guess they agree with Slytherin about something.’

‘I heard you were hanging out with that Potter boy. I know he’s a pureblood, but the family is known for all their _new age ideals._ ’ She shook her head. ‘Really Sirius - it only means trouble! And that mudblood girl!’ 

‘Lily?’ He questioned, outraged, ‘Lily is best friends with Severus Snape! How do you explain that one?’ 

‘Severus isn’t a Black.’ She said simply. ‘The rules don’t apply.’ 

‘Look, I know you’re angry, but there’s nothing I can do now. I have class; I’ll prove that I’m still carrying the Black name with pride through academia.’ Sirius frowned, wondering how he could feel so old around his family, yet so young around James. ‘I’ll make the Black’s proud. I’m just taking a different route.’ He wasn’t sure whether that answer had impressed Cissa or not, but it seemed to quiet her some. 

She nodded; ‘I’m proud of you, Sirius. But more than that, I’m worried.’ And she turned and left, walking delicately down the corridor.

‘I know.’ Sirius said, perhaps to no one. 

*

Sirius received no more than a raised eyebrow from Professor Slughorn when he arrived late to class, along with a muble of ‘Um, yes, well - I fell - and, er, Dumbledore - Professor Dumbledore that is! He -’ Slughorn didn’t seem to want to hear it, and Sirius was rather glad of that.

He was asked to join Lily and Severus, who had already begun their prep for the tasked Cure for Boils He joined with ease, explaining his clamatious run-in to Lily, her giggling the whole while, and exchanging pleasantries with Severus. He needed him on his side anyhow, and there wasn’t that much wrong with him, other than the fact that he seemed to spend a lot of time staring at Lily. That being said, James seemed to do that as well.

At the first possible chance, Sirius made a loud claim to needing more Shrake Spines, then took it upon himself to mooch around in the potions’ cupboard, until James made up a similarly loud and vague excuse, and joined him in there.

‘What took you so long?’ James asked bewildered. Sirius was just as frustrated - it seemed that the groups they were in were going to last all term.

He huffed, and explained the confusing morning events to James - leaving out Cissa’s ambush - until he circled back to the boy in the infirmary. ‘He was so pale, James - like nothing I’ve ever seen! And he had this huge gash across his face - and his arms were all beat up and scared - and it was like he was fighting for every breath - and -’

‘Woah, slow down and breathe!’ James laughed, his hands naturally reaching out to Sirius’ shoulders, to still him. ‘What’s so important about this kid anyway?’

‘He’s a Gryffindor!’ Sirius breathed heavy. ‘Professor Dumbledore said The first Lupin to make it to Gryffindor! He’s like me!’ Sirius hadn’t thought that’s where the sentence would end up, and he didn't consciously even thought about the implications of the statement, but there he was. ‘We can be mates with him! He’s weird ill, I’m weird missorted, you’re weird nice-to-the-missorted, and Peter is…’

‘...Weird, weird?’ James broke into an infectious toothy grin, and Sirius felt a glint in his eye.

‘We can all be friends James! Weird misfit friends! Like something from a fiction-novel!’

‘Go on then,’ James said, still grinning, ‘Sounds like a right laugh!’ Of course, that’s not how everything panned out.

* 

The boys were more than a little noisy as they bounded to their dorm that evening; there had been a fight with some of the Slytherins in upper years, and, whilst James had thrown the first _explicit_ insult;‘ _You can all go and shove your bloody ‘traditions’ up your incestous arseholes!’_ The Slytherin’s were the first to throw spells, so Gryffindor lost ten house points, where Slytherin lost forty. The boys were more than a little pleased with themselves.

‘That was wild!’ Laughed Peter, bursting through the door first, and jumping onto his bed.

‘Truly the way I wish to be remembered!’ James agreed, ‘Sirius, you have to admit, it’s an excellent start to the year!’ 

Sirius did not admit anything. All he could think about was the look on Cissa’s face and - whilst he did agree with James’ enthusiasm, it did complicate things a little. _There he went again, acting far too old and sensible for his own good._

‘It was rather wonderful,’ He settled on, and then ‘But I wish -’ before stopping dead in his tracks, and losing that train of thought completely. The curtains of the farthest bed, the one next to his own, were drawn. And Sirius was smart enough to immediately understand why. Somewhere behind there, silent, was their soon-to-be best friend, Remus Lupin. Sirius silently explained this to James, before receiving a nod of understanding, and he walked over to the bed cautiously, knocking on the bedpost.

‘Hullo.’ Sirius stated, somewhat dumbly. He wasn’t really sure what he ought to say. ‘My name’s Sirius. I suppose you’re Remus Lupin?’

The curtain stirred, and the boys exchanged glances as they heard the boys weight shift about on the bed. Slowly, one curtain drew itself back, just enough for the three overly curious eleven year olds to peer at the boy.

He was just as ugly as the first time Sirius saw him. Scars and scabs and bruises and all. His under eyes were dark, playing well into that sickly look, and his hair was matted and mousey. Peter seemed to find the ground rather interesting. James’ sharp intake of breath said everything it needed to. And Sirius _just couldn’t stop staring_. 

The silence had gotten awkwardly long - that is, until James decided to break it. 

‘I’m James. James Potter. Gryffindor extraordinaire and already the most dashing fella in the school. This is Peter Pettigrew, a right laugh - and that’s Sirius Black. Not Slytherin, to the disappointment of many. I suppose since we’re all dorming together, we ought to become friends - do you want to introduce yourself?’

Sirius was aware that James was being far too forward, social etiquette was obviously something he lacked. He hadn’t even thought about needing to brief them on that - or even Peter -  
‘Why is your face like that?’ Peter asked. _oh dear_ Sirius thought.

Remus flinched and blinked a few times. ‘My name _is_ Remus Lupin. I’m ill, not a circus attraction, thank you very much. And you don’t need to know the details, just as I don’t particularly need you as friends. Terribly sorry to be stuck in a room with your possy, but life goes on. I’ll keep out of your way.’ And then his curtains were shut again, and the boys were left in silence.

*

Over the next few months it seemed as though Remus was planning on staying true to his words. Despite the boys trying to involve him in pranks and their ‘adventures’, he seemed to refuse them at every opportunity.

_‘You’re well smart Remus, you don’t reckon you could join our study group?’_

_‘Hey Remus, there’s a quidditch match on next week, wanna come cheer for Gryffindor, even though we arn’t playing? James reckons he can charm red and gold sparks to fall when the snitch is caught!’  
‘Hey Remus, want to come eat lunch?’_

_‘Go to the library?’_

_‘Exploding Snap?’_

It was a firm _no_ every time. 

‘What’s his deal?’ Sirius complained to James one particularly cold December night. Remus was off out somewhere studying, and Peter was already asleep, so Sirius and James were sat up chatting, and somehow, like always, the topic had moved to their enigma of a roommate. ‘All I want is to be his friend. Why does he think he’s going to make it seven years without friends?’

‘I guess some people are just like that. Look, maybe we should just leave him alone -’

‘NO!’ Cried Sirius, indignant. ‘It’s not fair! I’ve been nothing but nice to him, I’ve had a hard time too! Andy’s so busy with work the only family connection I have is Cissa, and even she’s wary of me - plus Severus is really getting on my nerves. I thought it would be handy having a super smart potions group, but he’s a drag!’

Sirius was frustrated, he just didn’t know how to explain it intellectually. So much pressure was on him from every angle, and for some reason, Remus not accepting his friendship really took the biscuit.

‘I need to go for a walk.’ He stated simply, before pulling on his shoes. He knew it was past curfew, but he really did just need to get out of their room, where he couldn’t seem to breathe.

The walk did not go to plan, however, as he had just made it down to the common room, when he heard a distinctive sniffing coming from the window seat where he sat way back on his first night. And there was Remus now, facing away but his back shaking in rhythm. 

‘Hey.’ He whispered, delicately. ‘Are you alright?’ Sirius inched closer, silent as possible, impossibly shy.  
Remus looked up through wet eyelashes and jarring scars his overgrown fringe. He was quiet for a long time, calculating, before saying ‘Not really, no.’ but a small smile teased on his lips. ‘You can sit, if you want.’  
Sirius was completely heavy hearted at the sight before him, yet he couldn’t be happier with the opportunity it promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did I say? WHAT DID I SAY?! im going to start writing in advance but lol don't quote me on that because who knows I might disappear again also if u are continuing to read this despite delays...why?! I wanna know. Also thanks. that too xx remember to comment and leave kudos because it reminds me that this exsists :-)
> 
> pre-posting edit: On a more serious note, I would like to pop here that I’ve had a really hard time willing myself to post - or even write - content recently, for what I can only call ‘performance issues’. I used to be (and OG people who follow my tumblr @siriussass will know this) really happy and inspired to write all kinds of posts, as I was just kind of a kid who liked the marauders and liked writing - but now I’m actually studying writing and my job is officially a ‘writer’ it’s really scary to put my work out there, because if it isn’t good then I’m basically bad at my job, you know? Anyway, I am trying to write ahead, and I have a lot planned, but if there’s any guesses or things you’d like to see happen, please tell me!


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